Crumpets
by DiscordantPrincess
Summary: Little Danielle makes crumpets for her father, but they're horrible. Can Ratigan grin and bear it? One-shot, hopefully cute.


**Buenos dias, amigos y amigas...tengo un nuevo cuento para vosotros...espero que os gusta (don't worry, that's all the Spanish I'll use now!)**

**Yes, here we have another GMD one-shot featuring everyone's favorite delusional rodent professor and his daughter. I hope you all enjoy it, because it is meant to be cute and adorable and chock full of squee-ness. So...read on!**

LONDON 1884

Professor Ratigan was in his private study, reading the morning's newspaper. He shook his head. "My my my, so much crime and horrible occurrences nowadays." He grinned. "How absolutely DELIGHTFUL."

Just then, the large grandfather clock in the study chimed four. "Four o'clock already?" Ratigan asked, setting the paper down. "Dear me, time really DOES know how to fly, doesn't it?" Then, there was a small knock on the door. "Come in."

The door opened. In walked Danielle, Ratigan's five-year-old daughter, pushing a small cart. On top of the cart was a small teapot, a tea cup, and a plate of crumpets. "Hi, Daddy, I wanted to bring you something for tea."

"Isn't that so sweet? Thank you, baby."

"I hope you like the crumpets. I made them myself," Danielle went on.

"Did you, now?" Ratigan asked, his tone a mix of pride and concern for his daughter's safety.

"Well, Uncle Fidget helped me with using the sharp tools and putting them in the oven and taking them out, but I put in the ingredients and mixed the dough," Danielle admitted.

"Oh, good," Ratigan responded, much more relieved. He looked at the crumpets, which were lumpy and somewhat miscolored. "My, they look...different than usual."

Danielle smiled. "That's 'cuz I put in some extra special ingredients just for you. Uncle Fidget told me how much you like champagne and caviar, so I put some in. Enjoy!" She skipped out of the study.

Ratigan frowned as he picked up a crumpet. "I'm sure they'll taste much better than they look," he tried to reassure himself. He bit into the crumpet...and immediately wished he hadn't. It tasted awful and was hard as a rock. It took the professor everything he had not to spit it out. He quickly swallowed it, hoping that would be the end of the gastronomic torture.

As it turned out, his stomach disliked the crumpet even more than his mouth did. As hard as it was, the horrific baked good sank fast and sat in his gut like a brick. Quickly the professor poured some tea and drank it, hoping to wash out the bad taste in his mouth. He shook his head. _That had to be the most foul thing I've ever eaten_, he thought to himself. _But it's not Danielle's fault. She's just a little girl. She's just starting to learn to cook. I'll have to have a word with Fidget, though_.

Ratigan sighed as he stared at the remaining crumpets. He knew he had two options; eat the rest and endure great abdominal discomfort, or leave them untouched and risk hurting little Danielle's feelings. With an inward groan, he decided on the former. His baby girl meant too much to him to even consider making her unhappy in any way. He quickly devoured the rest of the crumpets, grimacing all the time.

As soon as he had finished, Danielle came back in. "Yay, you ate all the crumpets! Did you like them, Daddy?"

"They were very...interesting," Ratigan replied, forcing a smile.

"Oh good! Want me to get you some more?"

"NO!" Ratigan quickly responded. Then, he saw the unhappy look on his daughter's face. "What I mean is...um...those scrumptious crumpets were so filling, as much as I'd love more, I don't think I could eat anymore."

"Oh, OK," Danielle accepted, brightening right back up.

"Yes, well, thank you again, little princess, your gesture was most appreciated. Now why don't you run off and go play?"

"OK, Daddy." Danielle went off to find one of her "uncles" to play with, pushing the cart in front of her and gently shutting the door behind her.

Ratigan sighed as he leaned back at his desk. He felt awful. He still had a horrible taste in his mouth, and his stomach felt like it was full of rocks. He shook his head and rubbed his grumbling tummy as it began to digest the disgusting crumpets. "Sometimes being a parent can be a real pain," the professor told himself. He grimaced as a particularly uncomfortable ache shot through his belly. "Sometimes quite literally."

**Poor Ratti (huggles the sick big mouse)...nobody ever said trying to be a good daddy would be easy.**

**This little story was heavily based on something my own father told me some time ago, about how parents will go through any kind of pain to make sure their kids are happy. I'm not sure he was quite talking about something like this, but y'know what, I'm sure my dad would've done the same thing here.**

**In case you were curious, yes, Ratigan's line about time knowing how to fly was an allusion to the song "Goodbye So Soon" from the movie...I just rewatched the movie for the bajillionth time last weekend and I've got that song completely stuck in my head now...not that I'm complaining mind you, I love it! (hums a few notes)**

**Oh, before I go, I've been meaning to say this since I finished "The Great Mouse Detective 2: Unexpected Love," but kept forgetting; on the off chance that any of y'all would want to use any of my OC's for your stories, that'd be totally cool with me, just be sure to: A. ask me ahead of time before posting your story, and B. give me credit in your author's notes. That sounds fair, right? **

**Thanks for reading, peeps, and I hope you liked it! **

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


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